Markus' Deli

Joeyray's Bar
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"Welcome to Markus' Deli! Thank you for coming here instead of my top competitor... Everyone.

Here at Markus' Deli we serve everything *Begins suspiciously and violently coughing* fresh. Sorry, I've had this terrible cold lately..."

"Please, check out the menu kindly provided by none other then KnarledOne." *Applause echo's throughout the freshly painted building.*



Italian: Has a strong accent.

Char: Not charred, Char. Yes, it's black. What are you, a racist?

Rye: Rye are you wanting bread rike this?


Bleu Cheese: Well... it is blue. No comment as to why.

Cheddar: Can't go without it. Imported from Earth.

100% Koprulu Cheese: Oh, the no cow joke again. Banshees, Queens, blah blah blah.

If it is not listed above, I still probably either have it or can get it.


Fried Creep: Ignore its whimperings of pain. Sorry, the stuff's about impossible to kill.

Baneling: Quite spicy.

Psionic Tendril: If you can eat Zerg, I can eat Protoss.

If it is not listed above, I still probably either have it or can get it.


Psi Cherry/Creep Cherry: The greatest JoeyRay's food ever created. Originated with Vultureling.

Olive-free Olive Flavored Olive: Eh... *shrug*

If it is not listed above, I still probably either have it or can get it.

Specialty Sandwiches:

The JoeyRay's: Tolerance, grammar, spelling, and WHAT THE %*% ARE YOU DOING, YA TROLL?!? DON'T INSULT JR'S!

Suicide: Everything put into a blender mixed with vodka and baking soda... Yum!

Side dishes:


Ketchup soup: No really, it's better then it sounds.

Zergling-noodle soup: Deep fried zergling wings with noodles and... :)

Raman noodle soup: Great classic. Gotta respect the classics.


Ultra tusk salad: Grinded ultralisk tusks with lettuce, tomatoes and [scribbled out writing]

Spine Salad: It cost a fortune to get the hydralisk spines.

Ceaser salad: More ol' fashion goodies!


Larva legs: Yum Yum!

Doritos: Another good ol' classic.
"We are now open for business!"
Excellent. I will take a Baneling sub on Italian with Cheddar and Olive-free Olive Flavored Olives.
"You got it!" I start making the sandwich with a grin.

"We have an import of chips if you're interested."
"Just got an import of chips, salads and soups! Check 'er out!" I wrap KO's sandwich and hand it over the counter.

"Here you are, sir! That would be 10.99"
*digs in pocket*

Er... I seem to have only two silver Valaq.
"What's that?" I ask, making my way to the cash register.
Please... I can get a foot long sub at our local Subway next to Zanon's Bar for 5$. >:3
But you wouldn't get Olive Free Olive Flavored Olives. Or Baneling. Or... actually, you could get cheddar cheese probably.

They're worth about 4.50 each.
"Yeah... Check again. That Subway is..." I move my head around trying to look out the front door window. Clearing my throat I dig in my pocket and pull out a strange detonater. Pushing the button several times.

"Well there seems to be some sort of technical-" Everything in the building shakes and rumbles. A loud explosion is heard followed by the raining of debris easily seen from inside.

"There! So you said something about a foot long?" I ask, stuffing the detonator back in my pocket.
*I was saddened by such a fate... What harm has Subway caused to people? Now my favorite subs shall never be the same... None of the cheeses nor the meats, nor the toppings were here.*

*A funeral service was being directed for the poor, poor Subway*
I swear! If I find the monster that did this...
*Clears throat and wipes off sweaty hands on apron*

"Nope, sorry, I have no idea. So, you wanted a foot long?" I ask, browsing my wide selection of meats, cheeses and breads.
Buffalo Chicken on Flat bread, toasted of course. Provolone Cheese.... Lettuce, Spinach, Jalapenos, Tomatoes, Bell Peppers, more Buffalo Sauce.... It has to be exactly, and if it isn't...
With wide eyes I pick up the phone and dial frantically.

"I need a special order, four combo's extra bacon on the side, two chilli cheese samplers, a basket of liver, onion rings, a catch-of-the-day and a steak cut in the shape of a trout!"

Someone pop's their head out of the back room.

"Three oinkers wearing pants, a plate of hot air, a basket of Grandma's breakfast, and change the bull to a gill. Got it!" He disappears into the backroom again.

"No, no, no, wait!" I call, running into the back room.


Anyone get the reference?
I walk in, casually approaching the bar. "I'd like a chicken teriyaki on Monterrey Cheddar. Pepper Jack cheese, and all the veggies but the freaky ones, and spinach. Then salt, pepper, oil, and vinegar."
"You got it! Victor!" I yell at a Hispanic man who begins working frantically making the most delicious sandwich you've ever seen in your life.
I appear in the seat next to him, in my usual dark mist. "I'll take some Ramen. Beef please."
"My personal favorite as well." I say, casually throwing it in the microwave and hoping nobody notices.

"Here you are, zarkun!" I say, giving him his sandwich nicely wrapped.

"Yo Koro, just wanted to say Im having a good time RPing with you man. In Outbreak and ootf."
I take the sandwich and walk back out, leaving what I owed on the counter along with a box. On the box was a note that read,

Have fun. If you can guess what is in this box before I reach my Pizzeria, you won't be disassembled molecule by molecule. Instead....well, I'll leave that to the imagination.

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