Humanities Best, Part 2

Joeyray's Bar
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"Sometimes it is best to not know...." I mutter to myself think about the subject more.

After a few moments I look up at Stephany. "I am sorry if I have upset you... I am just rather spiteful still of my position among my people. They expect so much as I am the keiser's son sometimes I just wish I wasn't...."
I appear to be deep in thought, then shudder.

"It's okay...I get it, I'm a little stressed out too..."
IC:
I listen to Stephany and Jarlburg's conversation, trying to ignore the empty feeling in my gut;
"Family... I don't know if I should feel blessed or cursed not knowing mine..."
"What burdens you sister?" I ask not even realizing that I called her sister.
Julie limps towards a ship, her leg had a plasma blast burn straight through the side, allowing her to still walk, even though it hurt. She saw another woman and a man lying on a stretcher. She had arrived on just before it took off into space. "Hi." She says with a smile, which was somewhat hard due to the burning pain at her shin.
I look up at another recruit that was wounded. "Greetings., I see you are better of than I." I grimace a little as the pain returns little bits at a time.
OOC:
Don't forget That Stefson is with Jarlburg and Stephany.

IC:
I sit up and nod to the Gladiator with the plasma burns;
"Hello, I take it you you had a close call with a plasma cannon?"
I say, gesturing to her wounds.
"I was able to fight on, but you know, this stuff does hurt a lot." She says, keeping up her smile. "I am assuming you got into a fight with a high up Safrilian or a Juvalin."

Julie says to the other man, "Yep. The Paululus may be dumb and weak, but they know how to operate mounted cannons pretty well."
"Hello." I say the new one.

"I'd....rather not talk about it, if that's okay." I say to Jarlburg.
IC:
"Yeah.. I made the mistake of not properly taking out a berserker... ow."
I offer a hand shake to Julie;
"Eric Stefson."
I nod to Stephany. "Understood. If you need to talk about it then find me and I will listen."

"Yes the Ship Lord decided that he needed to engage me in combat. Broke both arms, stabbed one shoulder with an energy claw and then stabbed me in the gut with another. If I fight him again I will make sure that it is he that is about to die...."
I lower my head, thinking some more.

Simply not thinking, or refusing to believe about your past won't make it go away.

"Well, it'll certainly help," I think to myself.

You'll end up crazy. Hell, you already are crazy. I exist, don't I? I mean, hell, I've never met someone not messed up in the head, the fact that you know me...and have known me for, what, what years now? Damn, how time flies...anyways, you need to get it out, someway, somehow. You need to get it off your chest.

"Damned if I do." I say to the voice, but accidentally aloud. Feeling like a weirdo, I quickly move back into my position, trying to isolate myself.
Julie shakes Stefson's hand, "Julie Silia." She says in response.

She changes her attention to the other man who had the major injuries. "Ouch. I wonder why he chose you over the Captains..."
IC:
I nod and turn to Stephany;
"What's up? you suddenly went all quiet."
I ask.
I look at the new woman. "Probably because I was the easiest to target or perhaps for some reason he felt the need to fight a recruit. What ever it was I am now where I am because I couldn't best him." I say rather blandly.
"Nothing.." I say shyly, now engaged in a mental debate.
IC:
"Alright, if you say so.."
I say with a shrug, not believing her, but too polite to continue asking.
I glance over towards Stephany curiously. There was definitely something that she wasn't wanting talk about but did. I remain silent seemingly in thought.
OOC: This is all just occurring in my head.

Crissake, how long are you going to hide? It happened, it warn't your fault. It was his. You can go beyond that...what he did was awful, yes, but you don't have to be defined by that.

"But...what if people think of me differently for it? Hell, I know they would. Anyone would."

No, they wouldn't. It wasn't you...it was him, cmon, you've got to tell someone. Just letting it get worse and worse won't help anyone. I know you're scared to, but trust me, it'd help.

"And if it doesn't?"

It will.

"It isn't worth it...I'd rather just shut it out. Please, please let me do that. I don't want to remember it...I can't remember it dammit. You want me to have to relive that? I mean god, the one time was bad enough...hell, I may as well just kill myself. I'm of no use to anyone anyway."

You only think that. Trust me, it will get better, the first step is to spill your damn guts out. Let it all be heard. You'd feel a lot better...

"There's an old family heirloom I need to discuss it with first."

And what heirloom is that?

"The one thing to remind me of my godforsaken family. The old 38. pistol I kept when I went with the dominion. The only thing I kept."
Julie looked at the girl. The girl seemed to have a faraway look as if she was day-dreaming or something...

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