This is Their Story: Redemption Chapter II

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I glare at Kelly. "Don't even think about it."
I shake my head;
"Just because you were born in a test tube doesn't make you a monster..."
Before he could see me do it, both my hand snatched his, the bloody one dripping blood onto his. "Please... Help me...", I begged to him.
"Yeah, being born from a pod doesn't make you a monster. Being a sadistic, ruthless, merciless, killer. No remorse, no fear, no empathy... That makes you a monster."

I. Am a monster.
I flip up my faceplate and shake my head in horrified wonder;
"What kind of hell have you been through?..."
I ask gently.
I shake my head. "Monsters are those with no sense of right or wrong, and no sense of purity. Even you, Korozain, have those two things."
"Too late." I reply. I stand up, turning the rifle off.
"Actually, the 2nd thing I do not. I was probably impure before my birth. Ethics come from my high capacity for honor."
I shake my head. "Nierna gesta noir." I stop. "Where the hell did that come from?"

"Fine, don't consider actually doing it."
The grip growing tighter as my emotions were beginning to soar. And I wish I could tell him... But I couldn't tell what all I had been through yet. "I don't know what I had all been through... But the first person I killed was a child and I didn't feel sorry for it." I was ignoring Korozain.
"Probably some Blood Letter-speak."
I say scratching my chin.

"That is also too late." I say, also referring to myself as well.
I sigh inwardly;
...I swear, if she's another 'science experement'...
I think to myself remembering snatches of the endless sessions I'd put in with one of my former squad mates;
...nothing screws a person up like being a test subject...
I ask, not accusatory, but seeking the truth.
My breathing slowly returning to normal as I tried to stay calm under this sudden pressure and stress. The sounds of my misery ceasing... For now.
"I don't know why... Why though? Why do such a thing? All we have our questions... But nothing to answer it with. Maybe I snapped... Maybe I was grown and raised as a killing machine..."
I'm silent for a moment;
"...If that's what some sick twisted son of a !@#$% tried to make you into, remember that they're the ones responsible, not you. Given enough time and pressure, anyone can be reduced to a killing machine. It's not your fault."
I say, my voice hoarse with emotion.
"It's only the fault of those who want to play god. Unfortunately, people take and get what sick pleasures they can. Even if that means training or breeding walking death." I say. I had my eyes on the sky, wondering something.
My voice cracked as I spoke up again, "But it was my fault. I let them control me. And I enjoyed it, I couldn't tell if it was wrong or if it was right... But the pleasure that I felt from it... That's not human. Doing something for fun that involves killing people. I think I broke my mind..."
"Perhaps. I don't remember what it means right now though..." I shake my head again. "Still purity is not necessarily having not done something bad." I stare into the distance for a moment, then say, "We're good men. Good men mean well, just don't always do good things."
"People think in ways to make them enjoy their job. Keeps them sane, stable. Sometimes what we do is not the correct thing, but sometimes we have no choice." I turn to her. "You said you let them control you. What if you didn't? What if they made you listen to them?"
I smile gently and tap the side of her head;
"A little surgery up there can do that to you... wouldn't be the first one like that I've known..."
I say, somewhat sickly.
Man, no reaction to the deep thought from the psycho blood drinker? It's even in context too...

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