Kill the Previous Poster!

Joeyray's Bar
DeadViper suddenly turns into a viper, which promptly falls over and dies.
Owlfeathers becomes an owl and is shot by a poacher. Oh the irony.
As it falls, the owl decides to kamikaze Zarkun as he is walking near a cliff. Oops.
As the owl knocks me off the cliff, it spontaneously combusts. Ouch.
As Zarkun falls, I swallow Zarkun whole, absorbing all of the essence.
I eat your brain.
I erupt from inside smylez, reborn, and continue on my way.
The dead viper reanimates through dark magic, changes into a butterfly which morphs into a dragon, which morphs into a poison tree frog and crawls down Zarkun's throat
..... Lego Trains? haha
Creepshake does not kill me but injures me.

Kills Dead viper with a rndom laser gun found in a train..?
A shadow falls behind Frostwind. It quickly dismembers his limbs and his hated blade instantly cauterize a the wounds so he does not bleed to death.

A dark cloud falls over him and he is teleported to a room that resembles and asylum with blood writings all over the walls and other things like random funny pictures like

You are left to starve for weeks and then are feed random soups and meat cuts.

As you finish the shadow tells you that you just ate your family, and that the shadow known as 'Korozain' has enjoyed your game, and then proceeds to slit your throat with a Lego knife.

To prevent being killed by a lesser being, he stabs himself in the abdomen multiple times, and a rabbet emerges from the wound and takes his place for the next player.
I demolish everything Korozain stood for with a simple swipe of my hand, as you know, I command the shadows and their fury. My hounds start to circle the rabbit, staring at it. One leaps and tears off the rabbit's ears, blood flowing from the wound. Another leap and crunches its head into nothing. And the last one jumps over and grabs the rabbit's tail. The two hounds start pulling in opposite direction. The skin slowly stretching both way, a few tears with blood flowing out of them. Then the final snap of the spine breaking and the rabbit is in two pieces, the blood flowing outwards, bathing the the hounds of darkness in the crimson delight. They slowly rip pieces off of the rabbit, chewing on the remains.
ShadowFury finds himself in a dark room with no control over the shadows, nothing but glowing red eyes visible. Nothing happens for several minutes as the eyes regard him, and he slowly goes mad from it. Soon a clawed hand plunges into his chest, ripping out his heart and lifting it up, still beating, and a fanged mouth takes a bite out of the heart, causing ShadowFury to gasp in pain. Finally, the figure has mercy as I step from the shadows, and kills ShadowFury, a single bullet to the head.
The rabbits remains combust in a giant explosion of napalm decimating everything in a 1000 meter radius.

My return has made this go from hilarious to dark real fast...

I like it.
Unfortunately for Zarkun, you cannot drive those who are mad mad. As Zarkun shoots me I simply deform. I disperse, and I reform behind Korozain. My hand plunges into his throat, pulling the intact artery out, every so delicately. I begin to crush it, heavily restricting blood flow. Soon Korozain falls unconscious, while blood still flow from out of his neck. I tear the major artery right out, along with his heart, and the blood spills everywhere, and I start to lick it up.
OOC: Sorry about being late to the party! :S

An overlord, evidently without pneumatized carapace, flies over Shadowfury. Encompassed in the ominous new shadow, he looks up to see an orifice expel creep. He is weighed down and blanketed by the oily substance. The Roach descends on the creep slide and falls on top of him, inadvertently crushing all of his bones.
I disperse yet again, because unlike mortal men, bones break simply hurts. I appear upon the back of the Roach named RoachRyan. My hand turns to a pitch black blade, sharper than a well taken care of Katana. I stab into his back, energy pulses through and the blade expands, along with the hole in the back. Then the blade turns back into my hand. I slide into the hole in the carapace, and demolish everything except for the bile sac. The blood covered my entire body as I punch a hole in the sac holding the acidic Roach Bile (I want to say liver, but it's a Roach). I fly out of the hole, my shadow dispersing across the sector, awaiting my next prey, as what's left of RoachRyan begins to disintegrate.
However, the fact that SF's shadow disperses across the sector means the Zerg Swarm kills him and renders him down for useful biomass (though not in that order), because they don't like the dark.

I get a slice of thoroughly dead SF cake spelled, psioniced, imbued, and armored against revives.

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