Zanon's PRP Bar (Part 26)

Joeyray's Bar
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"I fwoosh your pony."
No, no, no no, Richard fwooshes you.

After all, he is Chief warlock of the brothers of darkness, Lord of the thirteen hells, Master of the bones, Emperor of the black, Lord of the undead... and the mayor of a little village up the coast.

Any questions?
"I smite him with my unholy smite of niceness."
Richard fries you to a crisp and incinerates your remains.

"I reincarnate as a hellhole and swallow him, sending him to a heaven like realm, and with him locked up, watching all the goodness around him."
Richard promptly thanks you for all the food and goes on a pyromaniacal killing spree.
"I turn back into myself and start assisting him, but with a knife instead of fire. Fire doesn't draw enough blood."
*I turn Richard into a tiny cute version into him. It's the version that makes him actually... quite useless. Also... I take his Fork of Truth*
I transport you to the Realm of the Mad God to be destroyed by Oryx himself.
Knarled messes up his transportation and I end up on the Shivering Isles. Sheogorath starts trying to get me to make him some cheese.
What... wrong person, wrong destination, wrong genre...

What's wrong with this bloody teleporter, anyways?
War and his damn pony explode into nothingness and a strange rifle can be seen in my hand. "Gotta love the S.A.P.D. rifles from the Mozan. Hmm ... I doubt even the sh!tfesting 'gamelord' could stand up to it." I put the rifle away and return to brooding over my drink.
I click my tongue as a notepad was out as well as a pen; writing down notes about Morph. We were all equally worried about him with his condition growing... worse. "Morph... I think your syndrome is acting up again... I advise you to see the good doctor to see if he can make you better, maybe put you on some medication if needed... maybe therapy."

I strip my clothing and I was in a business suit and walk around the table and sit down. "Now... sorry I was late... I was busy with another client. Now let's discuss about these mines.... what's their value?"
"Huh?" I sip my drink waiting for my damn shift to be over.
"I can suggest a good doctor. He steals livers, but that's about it. His name is smylez."
SF vanishes as well a victim of the same rifle as it is put away as quickly as it was drawn.
The rifle fails to kill SF, and I shake my head. "Morph, don't be Zarkun." I go back to washing dishes.
My head pokes out of a small, blackened portal. Taking due note of all the extra carnage flying around today, I carefully step out and eyeball the place, my eyes fixing on Morph.

"Perhaps some degree of Trigger-Happy syndrome is prevalent in this place? Is everybody is out for everybody's blood these days..."
"Sorry bad mood ... and that specific recommendation ... bleh ..."
I then noticed how the patient was doing so I slipped out of my business suit as soon as I purchased the deed to Felrock Mines. "Okay... I see that you have a shooting tendency... are you related to Zarkun by any chance? We knocked out Zarkun one night through roofies and took him to the doctor... He's doing a lot better now! We advise the same thing... You are delusional."

I then look at morrjo. "Now, Morph? Do you think that man over there needs help?"

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