[Repost] I am the ret

It was a thread written by a blood elf ret paladin during Burning Crusade, with narration similar to Alamo, encouraging people to accept ret (which was horrible at that time) into raids.

Anyone remember the name of that paladin or got the original post?

Edit: Reposted by Zomghealadin below. Thanks!
The one by Nikos?

Hello, I am the ret

I am the retribution paladin, maybe you have heard of me?? :D

I am the one who is doing the melee dps on you. Or sometimes also, the monster - but that is hard, because several people do not like it when I do that.

Sometimes I am said to "Hey yous, you ret. Get in the "BACK AND TOSSA LE HEALZ"

I el oh el at this notion - and substitute my own. Often times my retting has gotten me trouble - for example:

Many people don't want me to go with them to Karazhan :( http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/lolret1.jpg

Or even to simpler places, like adventuring inside of a shadow laboratory: http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/lolret8.jpg

Once I even was reported into the AFK's for being specced ret in a battleground: http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/lolret7.jpg

But I know what I can be capable of doing!! Even the Alliance has known of me: http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/lolret5.jpg

I have already beaten the World of Warcrafting because of ret. The king and Regent Lord have been vanquished: YOU CAN DO THIS AS A ROGUE? NO! ONLY THE RET!! http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/lolret6.jpg http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/lolret4.jpg

What was the last thing going through General Stormpike's head as I smashed it with my hammer? I will give you a hint - it rhymes with "OH GOD HE IS THE RET!!" http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/lolret2.jpg

Sometimes when I can finally find pals to do the raidings, I let them know the score right away. I tell THEM who the ret is: http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/lolret3.jpg They don't forget at all.

So in conclusion, everybody I wanted you to know me, the ret. One day when more people are ret, I will look behind me and see less twriling fingers making girly heal magics. They will instead be making bruises - OR HOLES with weapons. Onto their enemies' faces, I think. One day, I will show up for the Karazhan raid, and I will see: http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/helloimtheret.jpg

AND BEHIND ME will be the rogues, who can not spell their own class, who are left behind. And I will say LOLrogue. They will say "YOU ARE THE RET?? I HAVE BEEN PEW PEWED" and cry. I will toss them a 34 crit heal and solemnly say "Yes, I am the ret, it is time for me to go now, because I have raid bosses to pew." In their anguish and keyboard turning, their A and D keys will explode, leaving them POWERLESS and UNABLE TO MOVE LEFT OR RIGHT - then, we strike in unison.

Thank you for reading :D bye!

/e rookie rets, this is how you do it: http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/theretflash.swf

/e in addition to being a cool guy, you need to also wear a patch - to let the non paladins know: http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/trueret.jpg

/e be ALSO vigilant - mind your allies. Don't let this be you: http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/euronoob.jpg

/3 the rets GET the girls - not holys: http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/stephanii.jpg
omg. that is epic. how did i ever miss this? all the pics work too. LOL
Yes healadin, the one by Nikos. Thank you for reposting that =D
Bump. This should be stickied. It is that iconic.

Join the Conversation

Return to Forum