A Trade Prince's duty.

Pet Battles
Trade Prince Zepp kicked back in his seat in the Undermine council chamber and was drooling over a team of lady pet battlers in the latest issue of a Goblin Gentleman's Magazine. Life was good for Zepp these days. His financial interests in various cartel businesses has taken off and his power was growing. He was most happy about finally figuring out how to Buff Peddlefeet due to one of his spies infiltrating Darmand's teaching groups.

Soon Zepp would have all his troops in place to start seizing lands and properties. His Peddlefeet army was already large and buffed beyond imagination and he was gaining more Peddlefeets every day. Zepp had nothing to worry about, soon all denizens of Azeroth and beyond would be paying tribute to Trade Prince Zepp.

"You're the ones sweetcakes. You'll be the first ones I put in pet cages." Zepp said to the empty room.
"Zepp we need your help right now!" came a voice from behind the pulled out centerfold Zepp was ogling.
Zepp immediately jumped out of his seat, startled." Hey who's the wise guy? Authorized personnel only in this room pal!" Zepp drew his bow and started scanning the room. "Show yourself bub and I'll solve all your problems."

A face peaked from behind one of the chairs at the far end of the council room table, it was Goblin Darmand. "Zepp, put it down. It's me. We all need your help. The day all of Azeroth has feared has come. The challenge has been issued."

"What!? Now!? NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOO! Not now! I'm so close...." Zepp cried out as he began slamming his tiny green fists on the table.

Goblin Darmand gave Zepp a somber, knowing look. "You know what must be done Zepp. We have no choice. Everyone must do their part. While PvE'ers and PvP'ers do their part to stop the invasion of the Burning Legion, so must we do our part as pet battlers. I'm contacting everyone else as well. Prepare your teams old friend. This one is for the fate of our world."

The Darmands had gathered all pet battlers at Bilgewater Harbor.
A look of amusement appeared across Zepp's face. "This guy picked Azshara again? How predictable. No wonder he keeps losing anytime he tries to invade." One of Zepp's Peddlefeet rushed over to him. "Which one are you chump?"

"Boss, Peddlefeet#5769683197-tk421 reporting that all Peddlefeets are buffed, present and accounted for."
Zepp's voice took on a serious tone. "They betta be. Tell them to keep buffing. Everyone does their part today or they get pet caged. And if anyone thinks of taking a break, you tell'em that the pet graveyard is right over there." Zepp pointed at the nearby latrine.

Just then a massive demonic portal appeared at the edge of Bilgewater Harbor and an endless number of demons could be seen through it. An ancient and terrible voice rumbled forth from the portal "Little pet battlers. You think you're a match for my army? When you fall I shall cage you and add you and your teams to my ranks. None can defeat Sargeras, Master of the Burning Pet Legion. Bring forth the first challenger."

Darmand has transformed into Zeradarmand and motioned for all battlers to move in close to him. "Listen up. It's business time. We know what has to be done. We know he will cheat every chance he gets so be ready for it. Our job here is to publicly humiliate him as much as possible and tick him off. We're going to give Sargeras the ultimate wedgie. If we can distract him enough, we can take some of his focus off of the assault on the Broken Isles and give the PvE'ers and PvP'ers a better chance to stop the invasion there. Zepp, hit the projection machine and start broadcasting this across Azeroth for all to see. It's show time!"

Zeradarmand stepped towards the portal and signaled to Sargeras that he was ready. Sargeras sent his first challenger through the portal and the challenger introduced himself.....in a high pitched squeaky sounding voice. "You face Mini Jaraxxus! Eredar Lord of the Burning Pet Legion!"

All pet battlers fell over laughing so hard that it hurt.

Sargeras's voice bellowed through the portal "Mini Jaraxxus, how many times do I have to tell you to use your big boy voice!" In the distance through the portal Sargeras could be seen facepalming.

Publicly embarrassed in front of all of Azeroth, Mini Jaraxxus lowered his head and apologized to Sargeras "Sorry daddy! I won't let you down this time. Zeradarmand, I challenge you!" On his first move, Mini Jaraxxus opened portals all around Bilgewater Harbor and hundreds of mini succubi poured from them.

***Ran out of space. Rest is coming soon***
Zeradarmand flashed a wolfish smile. "Zepp you're up!"
Zepp looked at the lady battlers and flashed a big grin. "You've done some nice work ladies." He stepped up onto a stool so everyone could see him better while the ladies blushed, knowing he had seen their centerfold. "Alright chumps. It's time to rock n' roll. Reno, Eve, Vixie and Zunde. Shock and Awe. Give'em your biggest hitters and make it count. Kalyn, Tiresias Helbrecht, I want you to fan out in different direction. Keep an eye out for sneak attacks. Sunborne, I want you to get your Sunny Val'kyr to pick up any stragglers that break free from the battles. Get to it!"

Zepp called over Peddlefeet#5769683197-tk421" Your name is way too long. I'll just call you TK421 from now on. Got it?" TK421 nodded. " Alright TK421, I want you up in the air and start sniping anything that gets too close to me. I can't have any distractions while I organize our defense."

TK421 flew up in the air and as Zepp started to see a pattern in the Burning Pet Legions attack plan he started hearing "Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!" from TK421 as he continued to buff up from each kill.

Behind Zepp's command table a voice cheered on TK421 "Hey grats mon!" Zepp spun around half expecting danger, only to find Wodin the troll. "Wodin? What are you doing here?"

"Hey boss mon. I be here with Gurgthock. He be right over there mon. He heard 'bout the big fightin' that be happenin' and set up a free for all fightin' ring for all de pets that stray. He got goons caging dem and toss'in dem in da ring. He be givin' ya's all a million to one odds of winnin' mon.

Zepp thought for a moment about Gurgthock trying to profit on the possible end of Azeroth and admired it " I just can't bring myself to get angry about this. But I want a percentage of all profits!"

Wodin nodded "Good luck mon. Ya's be needin' it."

Just then Zepp heard the unmistakable sound of hundreds of pocket reavers coming from new portals appearing all over the shore line of Azshara. "Reno! Eve! Set up cages for the Lil' Ragnaroses. Peddlefeets drop the cages off in front of those pocket reavers!"

More and more succubi came from the Harbor portals and started charming some of the Peddlefeets. Zepp ordered TK421 to start sniping them out of the charm. "Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!" came from above. "Hey grats mon" could be heard in the distance.

"This is starting to fall apart. There are too many to keep track of." Zepp pounded his fists into the table. He looked around the battlefield and saw everyone holding their ground. Zeradarmand was keeping Mini Jaraxxus occupied while Sargeras roared through the portal, clearly annoyed his champion was not gaining any ground.

Finally Zepp knew what to do. He ran over to Wodin and asked for his assistance and to bring Zena with. "Why mon? What help could I and my little kitty be to ya's?" Zepp told him, and paid him for his effort. They ran over to the front of the projection machine and waited for Zepp's signal.

Zepp ran over to Zeradarmand and filled him in on the plan. The timing had to be perfect. "Wodin! Now!" With Zena staring right into the camera she used Cute Face. Every member of the Burning Pet Legion could see the adorable sad face of a kitten across the big screen and froze. "Awww!"

In that instant, Zeradarmand cast Triple Grave Destruction on all Burning Pet Legion minions brought forth by Mini Jaraxxus and annihilated them. All that remained of the invading force was Mini Jaraxxus himself. Zeradarmand used Blinding Light to disorient him, spun him around and gave him a wedgie, then booted him in the rear end back through the original portal as Mini Jaraxxus cried out "Noooooo!" sounding like Rotface.

As Zeradarmand began closing all portals around the area all the pet battlers gathered around the original portal to stare down Sargeras who had clearly lost this battle, and in front of all of Azeroth. He would need hours to bandage all his pets and no way to fend off a counter attack. Zepp walked down to the portal and began "Listen pal. We don't like it when someone starts trying to cause trouble with pet battles. Especially when that person has no skill and knows nothing about it. You got beat here badly today by a few dozen people. If you ever come back and try this again we'll be ready and waiting."

Sargeras peered through the portal and asked simply "Who exactly are all of you?"

Zepp replied "We're the Guardians of Pet Battles. And don't you ever forget it chump." Zeradarmand closed the portal.

Back in the Undermine council chamber Zepp listened in while TK421 filled him in on the losses his army of Peddlefeet took. It was a terrible toll. Many Peddlefeet would be out of commission for some time. Later that day he gave a speech to his army "We will rebuild! We will be stronger than ever! And more Buffs for all Peddlefeet!" Zepp vowed. And the army cheered.

The end.
Ugh I feel like I waited forever for part two of this story!!! I was on pins and needles!!!
12/03/2015 08:00 AMPosted by Sunborne
None can defeat Sargeras, Master of the Burning Pet Legion.

This was a very fun story to read and had many parts that were my favorite. I love the appearance of Mini Jaraxxus, the special cameo of Wodin and the continuous in-game references.

No one ever sees Cute Face coming. This is a good story. Oops, almost forgot to mention that I was happy to see the Sunborne Val'kyr get some exposure! That one needs to be put in-game.

12/03/2015 08:59 AMPosted by Sunborne
And more Buffs for all Peddlefeet!
Yay more Sunny stories!

This
12/03/2015 08:00 AMPosted by Sunborne
Sargeras sent his first challenger through the portal and the challenger introduced himself.....in a high pitched squeaky sounding voice. "You face Mini Jaraxxus! Eredar Lord of the Burning Pet Legion!"

and

12/03/2015 08:59 AMPosted by Sunborne
With Zena staring right into the camera she used Cute Face. Every member of the Burning Pet Legion could see the adorable sad face of a kitten across the big screen and froze. "Awww!"


were my favorite parts. I wish I could give you more than one upvote!
I feel like this should be documented.
latest issue of a Goblin Gentleman's Magazine
Is it wierd that I collect the Grey Item Steamy Love Stories?

12/03/2015 08:00 AMPosted by Sunborne
Peddlefeet#5769683197-tk421
I caught the Star Wars reference immediately. I feel I have redeemed myself from the last time.

Sunborne Val'kyr
Epic win with that comment.

All in all, a great addition Sun. Even better than the last one! Sticky requested.
Gooooood. So nice to have occasional stories to read on this forum. Well written ones too!

Thanks Sunny!
Thank you everyone for the kind words lol. I promised Zepp a story and with picking on him about Peddlefeet in the first one I had to try my best to make it entertaining.

12/03/2015 05:39 PMPosted by Darmand
latest issue of a Goblin Gentleman's Magazine
Is it wierd that I collect the Grey Item Steamy Love Stories?


I wouldn't think so. I have some friends who collect those as well lol. I collect some gray items myself more the BC fishing daily like Mariner's Log. It's a short read and very entertaining. "Middle watch. Four bells. Bottle of rum found in Cedric's pants. Disciplined. Middle watch. Five bells. Cedric's clothes found. Cedric found separately. Cedric disciplined." Cedric really likes his rum.

12/03/2015 05:39 PMPosted by Darmand

12/03/2015 08:00 AMPosted by Sunborne
Peddlefeet#5769683197-tk421
I caught the Star Wars reference immediately. I feel I have redeemed myself from the last time.


I was hoping you would spot that right away lol. You are indeed redeemed!


Sunborne Val'kyr
Epic win with that comment.

All in all, a great addition Sun. Even better than the last one! Sticky requested.


So you're saying that you've figured out that I want the Legion version of Val'kyr to be a thing? And maybe named after me since the names are similar? I would never deny such a thing.

12/03/2015 06:17 PMPosted by Vixie
Gooooood. So nice to have occasional stories to read on this forum. Well written ones too!

Thanks Sunny!


I'm glad you liked it!. Maybe I'll have to write one up for you and Eve next.

12/03/2015 04:09 PMPosted by Éve
I feel like this should be documented.


Documented how? Is that a good thing? o.o

12/03/2015 03:54 PMPosted by Mìdnyte
Yay more Sunny stories!

This
12/03/2015 08:00 AMPosted by Sunborne
Sargeras sent his first challenger through the portal and the challenger introduced himself.....in a high pitched squeaky sounding voice. "You face Mini Jaraxxus! Eredar Lord of the Burning Pet Legion!"

and

12/03/2015 08:59 AMPosted by Sunborne
With Zena staring right into the camera she used Cute Face. Every member of the Burning Pet Legion could see the adorable sad face of a kitten across the big screen and froze. "Awww!"


were my favorite parts. I wish I could give you more than one upvote!


Those were two of my favorite parts as well! I didn't want to drag the story out and slow it down with "play-by-play" writing and trying to be semi realistic, a "defeat all at once" solution would be practical and what better way to do that than the adorable face of a kitty as a distraction? It worked in Shrek so it will work for us too lol.

Mini Jaraxxus with a squeaky voice needs to be a thing for the next raiding with leashes! I vote for Sunborne Val'kyr being added in Legion!
Amazing story...can't wait to hear more. :)
Man, I wish I was as creative as this! lol

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