How do you develop a thicker skin?

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I see that thrown around a lot. "get a thicker skin", but rarely is that accompanied by any advice as to actually how to do it.

So, anyone have some tips on that front they could share?


Know that people on here or in game are just some random people. What they think will be forgotten shortly after it leaves their mouths because it doesn't matter.

Words only have power that you decide to give them. If what these people think about you matters that much then you need to work on you. You cannot change anyone but yourself.

Know your own value (it is likely to be things that aren't wow related as it should be) Once you know that you are a valuable person then nothing any random days it going to matter. Anyone talking smack to you over a video game is not the type of person you need to include in the list of important people in your life.

It isn't an overnight thing but surround yourself with decent people and the douchenozzles will stop mattering to you.

ETA:

As for it lingering, I would say that it is likely because part of you believes part of it (what was said) to be true. That is why knowing your value is important. Once you have that no one will have the power to take that worth (your value) from you.
05/14/2018 04:00 PMPosted by Tadkins
"Turning off all chats". While it's not something I've actually done yet it's something I've long considered doing.
depending on server realm ect it always verys, thick skin come naturally to those that have delt with bads before both online an irl, my suggestion to you op is hang in there were not all tots bad, my ignore list is always empty an if you get on it it musta been bad but eventually I remove everyone I ignore lol, just don't let dem bads get to ya~!
Honestly, there's no sure fire way to get a "thicker skin". Really it comes down to how personally you take people's actions on the internet. Sometimes it can seriously get personal. You and I know of Moon Guard's notorious people and association can bring a lot of problems.

Typically, I'd say this: Understand that interactions online will not kill someone. you won't hurt somebody if you kill them in PVP. they are going into the Underbelly where everyone is free games. Nuking people down is part of the game mechanics and killstealing is by no means punishable.

PVP is a free for all, and they're only whispering you because they're getting frustrated for being bad. You get whispered? Block/ignore them. If they continue to be a problem. Report them. The main actions these players can really do is kill you back.

In the long run. You'll need to decide when you had enough as well. In that moment people get angry from being killed. they'll be mad for maybe 8 minutes, relax. then come back to try again.

You're hurting nobody, they're eagerly putting themselves in a position of being nuked. And in the long run you're the one to decide when things get to you.
05/14/2018 04:00 PMPosted by Tadkins
"get a thicker skin"


This happens when you have enough belief in yourself to be able to deflect the brunt of criticism. There is a line where self confidence turns into arrogance. Arrogance keeps us from recognizing when criticism has truth to it. When the criticism is accurate, we need to be able to accept it and be glad we have learned. When it's wrong, who really cares what some deluded person thinks?

You need to find ways to find worth in yourself that has no relation to what others think of you. I think the journey is highly individual, but there are many paths. Cultivate self worth.
05/14/2018 04:10 PMPosted by Lockoclock
Realize that the only way insults can truly hurt you is if the person knows you personally. A random person saying how terrible you are, or what have you is no different than a barking dog indicating it's hatred the only way it knows how to. By barking. Give them no more attention than that.

If someone says something that honestly cuts you to the core then evaluate why that is and if you need to change that specific thing.

Otherwise just respond with k, if at all. It'll drive them insane.
i respond with a LOL and move on...
05/15/2018 02:42 PMPosted by Chalices
You and I know of Moon Guard's notorious people and association can bring a lot of problems.


Oh yes, very much so. xD

05/15/2018 02:42 PMPosted by Jamalia
You need to find ways to find worth in yourself that has no relation to what others think of you. I think the journey is highly individual, but there are many paths. Cultivate self worth.


I think that's the crux of it all. Just need to find that confidence and self worth.
Browse image boards for a year. That'll toughen you up.
Hi, Tadkins. I remember you from several threads we both posted in. I recall you because I really like your character’s name and you always seem funny and non-confrontational. I still feel that way, and I can understand your frustration. Oddly enough, and I apologize if other’s have posted the same observations, but you may be being insulted by people that have fragile egos. Possibly adolescents or actual children with impulse control issues. Perhaps even legal adults that are just ego driven and emotionally underdeveloped. And none of what I just described is excusable. You are not wrong to feel the way you feel. I myself have thick skin, but it would take far longer for me to explain why. My battletag is Jörð#1235 if you want to PM for any in depth advice of even more information.
Anyway, growing thicker skin is a myth, unless you’ve been in actual combat, and many WoW players have. For those that haven’t, saying to another player “Grow thicker skin” is just an exercise in being ridiculous. For those that have been in combat, saying that is just stupid. No one’s getting shot at, taking mortars, artillery, or looking at a trashpile at the side of the road wondering if it’s going to explode. Many people play this game by the rules and figure out strategies on how to capitalize on the rules for maximum benefit for best loss to gain ratio for their race/class, without cheating. And some players that lose to that strategy take issue with that. They can be ugly about it.

Edited for grammar
05/15/2018 03:35 PMPosted by Jörð
Hi, Tadkins. I remember you from several threads we both posted in. I recall you because I really like your character’s name and you always seem funny and non-confrontational. I still feel that way, and I can understand your frustration. Oddly enough, and I apologize if other’s have posted the same observations, but you may be being insulted by people that have fragile egos. Possibly adolescents or actual children with impulse control issues. Perhaps even legal adults that are just ego driven and emotionally underdeveloped. And none of what I just described is excusable. You are not wrong to feel the way you feel. I myself have thick skin, but it would take far longer for me to explain why. My battletag is Jörð#1235 if you want to PM for any in depth advice of even more information.


Thank you for that. I do my best to be non-confrontational because, my mentality is, even if we disagree on a topic, we can still be friends as long as its civil.

I will go ahead and send you a b.tag request. Just always good to have more friends.
This doesn't have to do with PvP, but it's kind of related. Back in the day before CRZ and account wide mounts, I was farming TLPD on my Warrior (not this one, obviously). I had already gotten it on my DK, so I knew about the spawn times, that the corpse stayed up for at least 30 minutes (it couldn't be skinned), etc. After awhile, a player flew up to me riding TLPD. There was another player with him. He whispered that he had just killed it, so I didn't need to waste time hanging around for it to spawn. I asked him a simple question...show me the corpse! He went off on me with the most expletive-riddled personal attack rant I have ever experienced in game before or since! I could have said the heck with it and left, but I didn't. Fifteen minutes later, my Warrior had his TLPD. Long story, short, don't ever let some anti-social imbecile ruin your fun in the game, or keep you from grinding for those things you want to achieve. Like others have pointed out, it's more a problem with them than you!
Or you could just turn off all chat. I personally have 2 tabs, one is for normal everything chat and one is for raid/group and guild chat only. 99% of the time I'm on the 2nd one, sometimes when I'm bored I switch to the first tab. Usually I can take about 5 minutes of the childish behaviour and switch back to the 2nd tab lol
05/14/2018 04:06 PMPosted by Ijilijil
Go join the military

The service will make a man out of you.

However, if you're sensitive, it's not the right direction to take. You're going to need thick skin to begin with.
05/15/2018 04:19 PMPosted by Wilhelmus
Or you could just turn off all chat. I personally have 2 tabs, one is for normal everything chat and one is for raid/group and guild chat only. 99% of the time I'm on the 2nd one, sometimes when I'm bored I switch to the first tab. Usually I can take about 5 minutes of the childish behaviour and switch back to the 2nd tab lol

I play on a 46" screen. I have guild/party and raid chat in a tab in the usual place on the screen. I have a second tab in the opposite bottom corner, which I never see or notice unless I actively think to look at it. That's where public channels reside.

It helps keep my primary chat log from being spammed (I am a role player on a role playing realm) and it allows me to ignore the stupid unless I'm interested in the stupid (or buying/selling in Trade).
05/15/2018 04:22 PMPosted by Amaer
The service will make a man out of you.

However, if you're sensitive, it's not the right direction to take. You're going to need thick skin to begin with.


Yeah, I wouldn't last five minutes in the military, lol.
op,

chant to yourself often enough until you understand it

"sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me"

live it

soon when you read something that might have sent ya looking for a safe space instead you will just laugh to yourself and say, aye, sticks n stones.

Then shrug and move on.
05/14/2018 10:50 PMPosted by Theannia
Neither one of us will be the end of this conversation.


True. And if Blizzard continues to decide they dont care, then you'll have to live with that decision as you have been all along. Personally I wish Trade chat was for TRADE, but its just a wish and until I get my wish I /leave 2.
OP, I can sympathize where you are coming from. I'm in a similar situation as you are when it comes to toxicity. Toxic behavior is more prevalent in competitive play such as PvP, Mythic +, and High level Raiding.

What I do is have a few drinks before engaging in any kind of PvP. It dulls the pain of having a bad game and insults just normally wash over me. I used to play League of Legends and had to have a few drinks just to gather the courage to do PvP. I don't play anymore. I know that drinking isn't an option for some people, and I am by no means a heavy drinker.

Any insults you receive is always a reflection on them, and not you. But I can understand there are times where the insults just hurt and discourage you to do nothing at all. This is where I usually take a vacation from the game.
05/15/2018 05:08 PMPosted by Astalynn
What I do is have a few drinks before engaging in any kind of PvP. It dulls the pain of having a bad game and insults just normally wash over me. I used to play League of Legends and had to have a few drinks just to gather the courage to do PvP. I don't play anymore. I know that drinking isn't an option for some people, and I am by no means a heavy drinker.


This is true. I'm not a heavy drinker either but I do find that i'm more willing to jump into crazy stuff after some beer, tequila, and/or jack. xD
05/15/2018 04:24 PMPosted by Tadkins
The service will make a man out of you.

However, if you're sensitive, it's not the right direction to take. You're going to need thick skin to begin with.


Yeah, I wouldn't last five minutes in the military, lol.


People are more resilient than they think
05/15/2018 06:24 PMPosted by Ijilijil
People are more resilient than they think


Nah, I wouldn't make it past the peanut butter shot, lol.
05/14/2018 04:04 PMPosted by Tiridan
Here’s advice.

Know that a grown person, or just another human being in general, is getting upset over you. In a fictional Video Game that has no affect on their real life.

And they’re letting that get to them and making them throw a little hissy fit.

So just laugh at it. How they’re acting is pathetic. And you just doing whatever it is (like making a mistake), will make them more mad. And make them continue to act in a laughable way.

So in summary, just laugh at how they’re letting something so insignificant get to them.


Good advice.

Honestly, Tadkins, people often say or do or type things merely to pique another person for their own amusement. It is fine with friends...my friends do it to me all the time, and I do it to them. It is not fine when it is to someone you do not know. It is rude.

Another reason people do it is because they have no regard for other players or they always think their actions are justified. In either case, it's not you who needs to adjust your response...that falls on the provocateur(s).

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