The Horde vs The Alliance

Wyrmrest Accord
We see a lot of talk about genocide, war, aggression, raising the undead, being snooty and internment camps when people compare the two factions. However, something critical is left out of the equation, no one ever thinks to ask which faction gives better hugs. I don't really know myself but I'd certainly like some opinions on it.
The Alliance gives better hugs.

Why? Because we're less jagged. No tusks, no horns (except for the demon hunters but we don't talk about them) no bones jutting out.

While there are certainly Alliance races that give terrible hugs, there are practically no solely Horde races that give good hugs, except for the Tauren.

Orcs: They've got tusks and are more likely to crush your spine then give you a good hug.

Forsaken: Literally have bones coming out from under their flesh. And I'm not completely convinced their saliva isn't just concentrated blight. You want that on your shoulder or the crook of your neck? Nah man.

Trolls: Even bigger tusks. Also might sacrifice you to their Loa, so you really shouldn't be letting them hug you.

Goblins: Too short. Gnomes are as well, to be fair, but goblins are distinctly more likely to blow you up then a Gnome is. Gnomes tend to blow themselves up more often than not.

Blood Elves/Nightborne: Does it really need to be said? Really? You think any of them will deign for one sec to lower themselves to hugging YOU?! And even if they did, you think any of them have ANY experience with hugging, let alone giving GOOD hugs? Nah.

But ya know. This is just like, my opinion man. Prove me wrong.
The answer is both, because the best hugs are Pandaren hugs.
08/11/2018 05:12 PMPosted by Daygazer
The answer is both, because the best hugs are Pandaren hugs.


Obviously you can't count the Pandaren because they're both factions. Also obviously, yes they give the best hugs because they're fat and fluffy.

But they're disqualified for the above reason.
08/11/2018 05:00 PMPosted by Urivial
Orcs:
If they weren't angry (Admittedly this is unlikely) I'd say it'd be pretty good. Large and strong, you know.

08/11/2018 05:00 PMPosted by Urivial
Forsaken:
Agreed

08/11/2018 05:00 PMPosted by Urivial
Trolls:
The tusks wouldn't be an issue, I think. Although they're probably a bit too wiry.

08/11/2018 05:00 PMPosted by Urivial
Goblins:
The shortness would be inconvenient but not bad. Other than that agreed.

08/11/2018 05:00 PMPosted by Urivial
Blood Elves/Nightborne:
Agreed.

Tauren would be pretty good but I think we agree on that.
08/11/2018 05:12 PMPosted by Daygazer
The answer is both, because the best hugs are Pandaren hugs.

Damn right.
Pst-I might think the Alliance gives better hugs now but don't tell Urivial.
08/11/2018 05:12 PMPosted by Daygazer
The answer is both, because the best hugs are Pandaren hugs.


yup.
Worgen: claws and fangs a good hug do not make.

Dwarves: beer-breath and pretzel-beard. no thank you.

Night Elves: we've only got anecdotal evidence on this, now.

Gnomes: Probably fine. Safer than goblins. Probably.

Draenei: One word: tentacles.

Humans: Like hugging an evolutionary ancestor. Ick.
08/11/2018 04:50 PMPosted by Zeebe
However, something critical is left out of the equation, no one ever thinks to ask which faction gives better hugs.

You called?
ill hug u
08/11/2018 05:33 PMPosted by Mairelle
Worgen: claws and fangs a good hug do not make.


You know who else has claws and sharp teeth? A dog. You never hugged a dog before? They're super cuddly and fluffy.

08/11/2018 05:33 PMPosted by Mairelle
Dwarves: beer-breath and pretzel-beard. no thank you.


Dwarves are stout and strong, but not as angry and aggressive as orcs. This makes them excellent huggers in ways Orcs can never be.

08/11/2018 05:33 PMPosted by Mairelle
Night Elves: we've only got anecdotal evidence on this, now.


I'll have you know that at least two Night Elves survived the Burning of Teldrassil. Tyrande Whisperwind and Malfurion Stormrage. And they've been in the same relationship for ten THOUSAND years. If that's not a sign that both give good hugs, I don't know what is.

08/11/2018 05:33 PMPosted by Mairelle
Gnomes: Probably fine. Safer than goblins. Probably.


They're too short, but yeah if we're doing a one to one comparison of them versus Goblins, they win it for the Alliance.

08/11/2018 05:33 PMPosted by Mairelle
Draenei: One word: tentacles.


Wow, kinkshaming in 2018. Never thought I'd see the day. :P

08/11/2018 05:33 PMPosted by Mairelle
Humans: Like hugging an evolutionary ancestor. Ick.


Human females have great breasts and less muscles then most Horde females, making them better at hugging. Also more fat than the skinnier Horde females such as Blood Elves. Human men are probably a lot pricklier, but a sight better of a hug than most of the Horde males.
08/11/2018 05:15 PMPosted by Urivial
08/11/2018 05:12 PMPosted by Daygazer
The answer is both, because the best hugs are Pandaren hugs.


Obviously you can't count the Pandaren because they're both factions. Also obviously, yes they give the best hugs because they're fat and fluffy.

But they're disqualified for the above reason.

No, I'm counting them. They said "best hugs" and you can't argue either faction because the Pandaren are on a level neither faction can achieve.

Also considering I play a big chunky Paladin Dad, I think I can say that belves give good hugs, you guys are just mean :c.

08/11/2018 05:38 PMPosted by Urivial
Human females have great breasts and less muscles then most Horde females, making them better at hugging.

>doesn't want a gorgeous orc gf with strong arms that can protect u but also hold u gently

Excuse me?
08/11/2018 05:50 PMPosted by Daygazer
>doesn't want a gorgeous orc gf with strong arms that can protect u but also hold u gently


I'm somewhat disturbed yet highly intrigued.
Forsaken hugs are warm by default since you're probably being melted with Blight.
The undead, the Forsaken, give the best hugs. They know what is to lose. They know the value of such casual affection. They hug with the heart and soul of two lives hard lived.

After them it's the Wildhammer Dwarves. Why? Because we are the absolute best at everything ever. Even hugging. F*ck the Forsaken. WILDHAMMER.
08/11/2018 05:59 PMPosted by Zeebe
08/11/2018 05:50 PMPosted by Daygazer
>doesn't want a gorgeous orc gf with strong arms that can protect u but also hold u gently


I'm somewhat disturbed yet highly intrigued.

http://orcladyappreciation.tumblr.com/ For Your Intrigue.
The hugs are a lie.
Outside of Pandaren, I figure Tauren probably give the best hugs.
Horde Hugs are a lot like Horde Architecture.

Spikes everywhere, and a suspicious lack of places to sit.

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