Talk to your main toon

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Name something your main would say to you if it wanted to have a conversation.

For me a few things.

Xigwa: OMG WHY DO YOU KEEP STORING USELESS JUNK IN MY BAGS I DONT NEED! You took me to the barbershop and made me ugly. Do not AFK in the middle of Rustberg village!

What are some of yours?
Avalae: Hurry up and get my feral set together! I want to go through those old dungeons! Why do you make me fly around so much? Why do you put such fear into my heart when you shift out of flight form mid-air, then shift back? Why do you insist on making my talons raw and sore from picking so many herbs? WHINE WHINE WHINE COMPLAIN WHINE WHINE COMPLAIN!
Walyonidel: You just had to use the random name generator didn't you...
Mnemonics: "I don't think they're buying that I'm a warlock.. They seem awfully suspicious and untrusting of it. Also, thank you for not killing me with Shadow Word: Death anymore. That was awfully kind of you."
I hate you all, I say that a lot to my guild just because
"Water! I am soooo thirsty! More water!"
Mario: You're sexy

Me: I know
"Why don't you try to make a minion better then a ghoul? I mean really, a dragon would be cooler"
LOL....

Vespias: DUDE!!!! WTF do you still have Shadowcat hide in my bank????

Me: I don't know...maybe they'll bring it back again?
Toon: Why do you INSIST on making my DPS suits into the "Tart of the Week" look?! Don't you realize how COLD I get?!

Me: Shush, or I'll make your tanking suit even colder.
I'm a freaking rogue!!!! aka WOW NINJA. Why are you trying to dress me like a pirate?!?!

You Fail, ma'am
Novalas : You treat me so well...

Me : <3
Xynthia: "Thanks for making me look good in raids... but please stop AFK-ing in the middle of Tanaris!"

Sparkleflash: "Why do I still have Tua'kea's Breathing Bladder in my inventory?"

Melpomenae: "Thank you for remembering that I exist."

Roskva: "I'm wearin' shorts? Why the Fel am I wearin' shorts? I'm a TANK, fer the Light's sake! Ah, whatever. Let's go fight something."

Nanaida: "If you don't play me more often, I'm going to tell everyone how awful you are at PvP."

Fizzaline: "...so, if we separate the displacement vector into its x-component and y-component, and calculate the arcanocapacity coefficients, we should be able to set up a decent ley-diversion to the flux focus..."
Garmakk: You idiot. Why is my DPS so low? Why am I not gemmed? Ah, that's right. You're too lazy and you have a pathetic budget! It's no wonder you're never accepted in raids. Stupid.

Me: *cries in a corner*
Me: Hey Volt, why do we have so many "what if your toon" threads today?

Voltaris: People are bored; why else? Why are you here?

Me: I am bored, but do I honestly care to post in these threads when there's a bunch of people needing help or spreading misinformation?

Voltaris: Look, you do that often enough. You're really here because you are bored and want something to do while you're looking at financial reports and things of that sort. Why dont you do me a favor and actually consider my thoughts for once? Like what would I do or say if I were in your world? What about what I'd eat if I were in your world? Do you know how I've wondered what this "prime rib" is? I am here stuck with Lavascale Minstrone. Did you ever consider that maybe, just maybe I'd like to wake up as you and that you can wake up as me, taste the godawful coffe they have in SW while I take a stroll down to your neighborhood Panera Bread and order myself a Chipotle Chicken Sandwich with a side of Brocolli Cheddar Soup and some Hazelnut flavored coffee? Did you ever consider maybe I have thoughts of living outside of this blasted computer?

Me: Oooooookay.... Hey Volt... im logging off, okay?

Voltaris: !@#$%.
"I know there's someone else"
My PvP paladin: What do you mean I can't kill him? I don't care if we ARE on the same team, he needs to die...with fire!

My Hunter (this guy): So help me if I hear one more "arrow to the knee" crack...

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