[RP] A Series of Embarrassing Letters

Emerald Dream
((AKA: Gor'Watha fails to be relevant. Rasek will probably die from rage in the next few days.))

Orgrimmar was a flurry of activity. A thick layer of red dust hung in the air, pushed throughout the city by the constant flow of traffic. Orcs crowded the streets, the late summer heat under their skin, and the victory at Theramore on the tips of their tongues. Every child was reenacting the scene in their own way. Every soldier was swapping stories, getting themselves and their brothers ready to move out. The excitement surrounding the city was almost palpable.

One troll seemed unmoved by the events. He sat on a mailbox close to the mouth of the Valley of Honor, chewing on a cactus flower and digging through the contents of the box. A woman next to him leaned on his thigh, picking at something on her robe, trying to look as bored and disinterested as possible.

“I recognize dis.” He pulled a stack of envelopes from the pile, tied together with a cross section of simple twine. The top letter bore the Gor’Watha symbol in red wax.

The woman looked over, suddenly curious, and snatched the bundle from his hands before he could do any damage. “Wrezi, don’t touch. Let me be reading first.”

She popped the seal open and scanned the first letter quickly, he eyes moving faster than Wrezi could even attempt to process the words. His lips had barely formed the second one when she shuffled the letter to the bottom of the pile and opened the next one.

“Temtem! Read dem out loud. Wrezi wants to know.”

ADDRESSED TO: Second Lieutenant Rok’thar Knucklehead, Orgrimmar

RE: Orders

2LT Knucklehead – Info re: Theramore arrived in Silvermoon. Gor’Watha requests deployment to a more suitable location. Please respond soon. Elves have covered me in glitter.

—Rasek


(Marked RETURN TO SENDER)

ADDRESSED TO: Second Lieutenant Rok’thar Knucklehead, Orgrimmar

RE: Orders

2LT Knucklehead – Info RE: Theramore keeps coming. Gor’Watha is still stationed in Silvermoon. Is anything expected in the Eastern Kingdoms? Awaiting new orders.

—Rasek


(Marked RETURN TO SENDER)

ADDRESSED TO: Second Lieutenant Rok’thar Knucklehead, Orgrimmar

RE: Orders

2LT Knucklehead – Come on, we’ve been friends for like a year now. What the hell are we still doing in Silvermoon? Move us somewhere useful before we burn down the fountain.

—Rasek (Gor’Watha)


(Marked RETURN TO SENDER)

ADDRESSED TO: Second Lieutenant Rok’thar Knucklehead, Orgrimmar

RE: [Eff] you

Knucklehead, are you [effing] serious? Where’s the orders, man? Nobody’s been stealing my mail, just give us something to do. You know we’ve got the muscle, just send us somewhere outside Silvermoon and we’re good.

—Rasek (Gor’Watha)


(Marked RETURN TO SENDER)

ADDRESSED TO: Second Lieutenant Rok’thar Knucklehead, Orgrimmar

RE: Orders

2LT Knucklehead. Go [poop] yourself. Just because the Warchief doesn’t like Darkspear doesn’t mean we need the shaft. We’ve got a lot of guys revved and ready to go over here. We’re waiting for the order to move back to Orgrimmar and assemble with the rest of the troops.

I KNOW you guys are doing that; I’ve been informed. Don’t bull[poop] me with this man, we need this. Best chance to prove ourselves useful, let’s go. You won’t regret it, I swear.

—Rasek (Gor’Watha Warband)

(Marked RETURN TO SENDER)

ADDRESSED TO: Major General Rasek, Gwarth Warband, Silvermoon City

RE: Orders

Dear Gwarth Warband,

Warchief Garrosh Hellscream greatly appreciates your contribution to the Horde. Never before has a band of Tauren mercenaries been as brave and dedicated to the preservation and surveillance of the ruins of the Great Lift before.

At this time, your post north of Razorfen Kraul is the best place for you. Your courage and strength at arms is admirable, but at this time your request to be moved must be denied.

The Warchief wishes warm hugs from the Earthmother, and hopes you all have many strong sons.

Sincerely, Second Lieuntenant Rok’thar Knucklehead


Temtem folded the letters as they had been, set the stack on Wrezi’s lap, and tied them back up with a neat little bow. Wrezi licked his lips.

“What’s dis mean?” He eyed her suspiciously as she smiled. Mages couldn’t be trusted.

“It means we are nobodies. Our connection in this city is mistaking us for Tauren.”

“But we’re trolls.”

“Yes.” Temtem tucked the stack of letters back through the mailbox slot. “How embarrassing.”

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