Journal of the Rising Sun Fellowship (IC #3)

World’s End Tavern: Role-play and Fan Fiction
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From an old dusty book of tattered pages and loose binding:

I have gone to the Barrens to seek my fortune, in order that Raviella may journey through Azshara without my presence. It is with I heavy heart that I leave her to her own life, and journey.

The sketch of her is far better than anything I have ever done before, it is almost as if she could walk off the page. The depth and measure of the sketch left me breathless. She...I...

I think of the final words of what Sydric had said concerning Jahana, and I feel a trembling in my heart. I cannot explain it. I go over several of my sketchbooks and the statuette drawings, and realize that I have not done her justice in my art work.

I stood before the large easel with sharpened pencils, chalk, and rubber. I closed my eyes, and I invisioned her as I last saw her. I remember her touch, and caress, and how her lips felt against my own. And the pencil began to move over the sheet of paper of its own accord, I was merely the middle man. And I watched as it came together.

It was Jahana in her most provacative leathers, and her eyes held that twinkle of mischief I remember so well. She had that smile on her lips that held a sensuous and enigmatic quirk that held my heart. As the pencil and chalk moved over the sheet, I found her becoming real and ready to step off the paper into my arms. Her hair was short and framed her features, and seemed to bring out those eyes, those beautiful green eyes of hers. She was in a slight crouch as though she was ready to vanish before my eyes as she had done on so many occassions that typified her playful nature.

The only thing missing from the picture was the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed. I had found a way to bring her nearly to life on the page before me. As the colors of chalk blended and fell on the page and floor beneath it, I became lost in what I was doing. I was finding her again...and I forgot how much I had loved her, and I struggled to bring her back to me through the paper, pencil, and chalk.

Tears well in my eyes, as I stood before the picture of the woman, the muse, I loved so much. My fingertips reached out to touch her, and stopped short so as not to smear the chalk or ruin the effect. It was her, and it was my best work to date. I am afraid to show it to Sydric, as I want to keep her all to myself...
The peace of Serenity Peak was something Raviella needed. She had made the mistake of falling for one of her charges. She remembered her conference with Sydric Silverhawk as she reported to him of her progress with Neryth.

Her whispered words to Sydric as he tried to console her were final. "I will leave him in your care Sydric. He is a good paladin, with a strong heart and a noble spirit. I am going back to the Eastern Continent and help wherever I can. My heart will mend."

Sydric sighed deeply and let her go. "The best thing I can tell you is to know yourself and stay true to your heart, Raviella. There are others who may benefit from your wisdom." he closed the door behind her and went back to his study.

The darkness hid her tear stained face as she wandered through Silvermoon and made her way to the Undercity. There was work for her there and she through herself into it with zeal. The Forsaken seemed oblivious to her inner pain, they were preoccupied with their own agenda. Vaguely she thought to speak to others in the Fellowship and offer her services as a healer.
The swirling purple energy arced between the Sindorei male and the human man. Both of them were heavily sedated with drugs that clouded their minds and made them silent. Standing by Viragona's side were two Forsaken shadow priests, adding their chants to hers in a strange almost discordant version of a hymn.

The dark haired human had proved stubborn, his mind was keen with intelligence and pride. But the drugs proved more powerful than his mind. The runes sketched in the room on the floor glowed purple. The one surrounding the two males who were strapped to tables was giving off sparks of a sickly green. Vira stood between them, her left hand on the brow of the human and her right hand on the brow of the dark haired Sindorei.

He was a proud and enthusiastic elf, his name being Samarkand. Vira had enjoyed toying with him for months while they worked out their plan. If this worked then his soul and mind would be transferred to the body of the human. Sam would take over the identity of the human, and infiltrate the innermost workings of the Stormwind Intelligence. It would take time for him to work his way into any rank. But he was dedicated to the project.

As the chanting grew even more intense, there was a disturbance in the other room. The two guards inside the doorway tore their eyes off the ceremony and went to investigate. They were both Sindorei and alert enough to be cautious as they searched together. It did not take them long to find Jahana. Her struggle was brief as one of them sapped her and the other whistled silently as he tied her up. "How did this one get past the outer ring of guards, she must be good."

The other smirked as he looked her over and snickered, "She can be a prize for us for later, when we are off duty, let's toss her in one of the holding cells. The Master will want to have her, but only as one of her experiments. We can have fun first..." he grinned at his partner. They dragged her off to the far corner of the deepest part of the dungeons. Before they could have their fun they had to resume their vigil. Locking the door behind them they left her unconcious form chained to the wall. They took all of her weapons and armor and drooled over the helpless female for only a short time before they had to report back to Vira.

When they returned the ceremony had concluded and the other guards merely shrugged as they recounted their find. Vira sat exhausted on a divan in the room. "I will see to her later, right now I must rest. My project is coming along as well as I had hoped. When these two wake up we will see if it is successful. I am certain we have it down now, the process is exhaustive." her voice raspy with fatigue.

The rest of the night she rested, with the two males under careful watch by the Forsaken priests. Towards dawn she rose and went back to the cells to inspect her newest prisoner. To her surprise and delight it was someone she knew well. The guards had stripped Jahana and she lay in the straw with her eyes glazed from the shock.

Vira ignored the obvious signs of the torture and assault her guards had bent on the helpless elf female. "I will have some fun with this one, even better than you have had..." she grinned as she looked over at the guards who were still smirking as they stood ready for Vira's commands.

Vira indicated to the guards to bring Jahana to the lab and they unlocked the chains and carried her to the table. "Now we do the next step in my plan. I need a willing volunteer for the most insidious of plans. My own vengeance is now at hand. Who will enjoy wreaking my vengeance for me?" she looked around at the Forsaken and the orcs and trolls who were standing around the room.

"I will do it." came a voice from the shadows as a Forsaken female stepped forward. Her eyes of gold and her rotted teeth made her a most hideous sight. "I will gladly serve you, Master. The chance for a new body, especially one so comely, is too good to pass up."
The comfortable bedroom where Sydric lay asleep was quiet until he suddenly sat up in bed shouting, "NO!! JAHANA!!" he gasped in shock as her thoughts slammed into him. He rubbed sleep from his eyes and almost tangled himself in his sheets as he struggled out of bed and grabbed the first robe he could find.

His first thought was to get on the guild stone and call for back up. He picked up the stone and held a finger over the on button and hesitated. "I cannot...I have to wait...she might need to panic.." he sat down at his table and drew out fresh parchment and sharpened his quill. He needed to document this now, while he still could.


Subject: Jahana Nightblade

Current status: Captured, held in custody by Viragona. Extreme danger. Access cut off suddenly. As of this time, still alive. Prognosis, bleak.


His notes were brief intentionally. He knew what had happened, but he could only tell Cyaer at this time, and leave it up to him to notify Kel and Mia. He went down to his kitchen and talked the cook into a cup of tea. His somber look made her try and cheer him up, but he merely shook his head and went back to his study. Trying desparately to contact Jahana mentally and getting no response.

Calling for a messenger was risky. Syd would have to talk to Cyaer himself and see what they could do.
From the Journal of Cyaer Sunblaze:

It was grim news that Sydric gave me. Dire news, and when he told me of her last two messages, my heart sank, for she knew too. Jahana had been a professional, and I could respect that, she knew the risks she was taking. And she did it gladly for the Fellowship, and for us all. Then why do I feel such an empty space in my heart right now?

I got a hold of Karamia and let her know what was up. She remembered the dark haired Sin'dorei also. She even felt some guilt for sending her into that den of iniquity. I tried to console her with what I could. We both must be on our guard now. Now to find Kel'tira and let her know.

How do I tell the young paladin? Should I wait a few days, maybe she will escape or be set free? She has ingenuity, and she's a smart woman. But I cannot help remembering her final words - "Tell Neryth he's free". Why does that tell me just how hopeless she thinks her situation may be? And how will he react to the news? I dread it, but take responsibility in giving him the report. Just a few days...then I'll go see him. Poor Neryth.
From an old dusty book of tattered pages and loose binding:

I have been sitting in my studio, staring at the drawing I created earlier today. My mind, that shut Jahana away from me for a brief time, now spends the time re-telling our brief time together. Reoccurances of our laughter, and our joy in just being together. The passion and love we shared, finding each other and holding onto one another as though we might lose each other.

I have wept too many times today. My misunderstanding the work she did for the Fellowship, and now, dreading the knock on the door from Sydric telling me she is gone. I fear for her, and I worry about her.

There have been countless prayers made that she return to me safe and sound. I would renounce the light, the Blood Knights to have her back in my arms. I would do anything.... anything... Oh, my sweet Jahana, come back to me....please.

At the bottom of the page is a small likeness of Jahana, it's features delicate and sweet. Her eyes twinkle from the paper, and her smile is cryptic.
Damn it all.

Damn the Draenei.

I was clumsy. I was inept. I was distracted.

And would you not guess? I payed the price.

Stuck neatly like some treat on a skewer.

How pleasant. It hurts like hell.

And now Cyaer was looking for me, urgently, and Gear would not let me leave...

I know he is right. I know he is, it simply... (the words stop abruptly)

It irks me.

I walk the line between two, now three, lives, and when I fail in one, the ripples splash outwards sharply. How can I explain away my absence and my injury to the Fellowship? To Theronar? I promised I would train him.

I must be more careful.
Words, written hastily in the Journal of Aseria Sunblade

I met with Kel.

She's a bounty hunter? Really?

While I agree what she is doing is for the sake of the Kel, anyone else but Kel! The Fellowship needs her, can't she see? She is taking on to many things at once, it will destroy her!

I can not allow this to continue, not one bit, even if it means I might have to do something I will regret. Either way, I know how to dispose of the evidence...I've had a knack for that.

I have a new goal now, one that I will see to it till the very end, I don't care what anyone says, specially Kel, because I feel I need to do it for her.

Find, and incarcerate, the one who gives Kel the jobs.

I'll burn out his tongue. Every word he speaks will be fuel on his funeral fire.

The next page seems to have the out prints of the words, as if she had closed it as soon as she had finished her writing
From an old dusty book of tattered pages and loose binding:

I must get me a new journal, this old tattered thing is on it's last binding string, and It frustrated me to no end. (a deep breath is taken) It's not the book or journal, it's me. If I was to sit before Raviella, I would tell her that my life is out of balance. Something is out of whack.

I know my heart is in turmoil over Jahana, and I am worrying. That's not something I normally do or have done. I'm not a worrier. I walk in the light, and in its power, worry is a weakness I cannot afford. But what can I do? I have prayed until my knees are sore, I hold Jahana close to me, and beg for strength in whatever happens...and I find myself wanting, almost demanding an answer.

I have not returned to the Barrens, well, more specifically that little goblin port. I have duties to be fulfilled, and requests that must be answered. And yet I sit here in the studio, and wait. Wait for my life to move on, to get myself in balance again. To either praise the light or mourn a death..whatever it is, just to move on.

I am evil in my thoughts, I need to cleanse them, the negative only fosters more negative, and I want to have hope again...light help me...I need help...I need hope again.

(the page is warped and curled from tears)
The woman with the brown hair looked out over the small pond. White cranes gracefully made their way through it looking for fish, their long-legged strides making ripples across the water’s lotus strewn surface. She watched as the beautiful pink and white flowers bobbled in the wake, thinking about ripples and bobbing.

In her hand was a small device—a communicator given to her by a goblin hunter—and she toss it up in the air before catching it with a deft motion. Kel was supposed to contact her via the communicator. The goblin had said that Kel was safe, but would not say where Kel was. But then, it wasn’t what the goblin had said that interested her; he said that Kel was safe and by giving her a communicator for contact, wasn’t likely keeping Kel prisoner.

It was what the goblin would not say that spoke volumes.

Of course, such volumes could whisper, too. There lay the crux of the problem. However, it would be a simple matter to find out who the goblin was. He had made a critical mistake when he came to give her the communicator. He had made himself distinctive, something that she was careful not to do when she was working as an infiltrator. The devil was always in the details, but then, how much did she really care about the goblin right now? Truthfully, not much at all. He could keep his anonymity and if Kel wanted to share the information, so be it. The woman with the brown hair was not going to worry about it for now.

She had other things to worry about.

She had told Kel once a long time ago that she had to make decisions dependent on who she could save. In her role as a search and rescue agent, she had a number of names and places come across her desk and if there was a conflict, she had to pick one over the other. She could not save everyone, a fact that caused more than one sleepless night in the past and would continue to do so in the future.

She also learned that you have to make the decision to save yourself. Even if you had to rely on someone to open a cage or pick a lock, you had to make the decision to take the offer of help. Her mind flashed back to an out of the way inn where she had desperately held onto Kel’s hand only to have it slip from her grasp. For a long time, she refused to accept the reality of the situation but now, she knew what had really happened.

Save yourself? Perhaps not.

She was tired of feeling like a failure… and not by her own fault.

However, Kel was not what was troubling her at the moment. There was a whole list of problems, not the least of which being the warlock, but there had not been any word on her in quite some time. Her husband was out again and while she worried over him—he really could take care of himself—her main concern was the note that she had received from one of her oldest friends, one who dated long before the Fellowship. Her help was needed once again and she knew that she could not turn the request down; she was fairly certain that Sol would understand. Some bonds ran deeper than others.

She took a deep breath, taking in the fresh air sweetly scented with cherry blossoms of the Arboretum in the Jade Forest. She was about to exchange it for the dry grassy plains of the Barrens. A strange wistful feeling welled up in her.
From the Journal of Cyaer Sunblaze:

Well, the device worked and it was Kel'tira on the other end. It was supposedly a clear and secure line, so I told her of Jahana, that situation, and asking how do you tell a loved one that their loved one was gone.

I will wait one more day, on some off chance she escapes or is released. I remembered the scout, and the meetings we had. She was a consumate professional, and she knew what she was doing. This is just one more reason why we must rid ourselves of this Viragona once and for all.

If what I was told is true, she has become dangerous to the Fellowship with the connections she has made. We will need to be discreet in ridding ourselves of this thorn in the guild's side. Perhaps I need to look into another set of talents...assassin maybe?
The guards were disappointed when their 'toy' was taken away. They had fun with the blonde rogue for many hours before Vira interrupted to tell them she had use for the body. Cleaning it up and bringing in the volunteer for the transfer, they watched stoically as the process completed.

Vira was pleased, this one had all the makings of a first class spy and assassin. The rogue who took over the body was delighted at the smooth new skin and toned muscles. She grinned with her new soft ruby lips at the guardsmen and promised future fun if they helped her on her way to becoming the consummate agent. "I need a new name..something that is close to this ones, so I can integrate her into her new life."

Vira shrugged, "Just be Hanna then, close enough and you will need to be cautious. I suggest you begin in Orgrimmar and dispose of all Rising Sun members you can find. Do not reveal yourselve to them. Stay in the shadows and be a silent stalker. Strike and leave, be fast and efficient. If you manage to kill Karamia Dawnstrike, Cyaer Sunblade and Kel'tira Sunblade I will make sure you never lack for gold or trinkets. You will go far if you are cautious. Do not waste this opportunity with frivilous pursuits. Do I make myself clear?" her voice took on a demanding tone.

Hanna bowed deeply and murmered, "I am a professional. they will all die, one by one. I will report by mail in code. Return payment is requested for me to keep going. I thank you Misstress for this chance to prove myself to you."

Vira smiled. "See to it you get to Orgrimmar then as soon as possible. My contacts tell me that Karamia is investigating, and we do not want anyone to know what we are doing. Destroy all evidence she carries on her, notes, Journals, whatever you find. Now go and be swift in your duty, but careful so you may complete it all."

It was only a few hours later that the messenger returned to tell Vira the news. "Karamia Dawnstrike is dead, M'Lady. And the assassin requires payment to proceed. She left behind no trace of her whereabouts and is even now heading to Silvermoon."

The warlock chuckled in pleasure, "At last my plan is by one they will all pay the final price for twarting my plans. Soon the warchief will reward me himself for the intelligence my spy in Stormwind gathers even now. Life is good...I am pleased." she continued chuckling as she headed for her lab.
Kreindis sat in his room in Wayfarers Rest. He had been there for a while, getting up only to eat and drink. He was thinking over some of the words of Kel who had talked to him days before. She was talking to him about Tislina, and had said things such as 'you deserve eachother' and 'do not fall apart like I fear Nic and I have'.

Over the last days, Kreindis had began to really wonder where the one he loved had gone. He had searched through Silvermoon multiple times, yet he had not found her. He hadn't heard from her over guildstone or letters, either. Kreindis said quietly, "Kel told me Tislina is also worried about me... maybe I should send her a letter telling her I'm okay."

Kreindis reached for a piece of paper and his quill before he heard a tapping on his window. He walked over, hopeful. Instead of the white dove carrying a letter from Tislina, a silver dragonhawk carrying a familiar-looking letter stamped with the Horde symbol. He took it and watched as the dragonhawk flew away. "Where am I going this time..." Kreindis opened the call, and said, "Hyjal? Never been there before..." He closed the call and put it with the others, before moving over to the paper and his quill, and began writing his letter:

Tislina, I have heard from Kel you are worried about me. I am worried about you too, but for now know that I am okay. I have not run into Keyadrion or Tradissa, or anyone who would do me harm. I have been called again though, to Hyjal this time.
I wish I could take you with me, as I know you have always wanted to go there.

Please, Tislina, stay safe while I am gone. I havnt heard from or seen you in weeks, and I am extremely worried about you. I will do the same, I promise.

With love, Kreindis

With that he handed the letter to his own dragonhawk who knew to take it to Tislina. After it left, Kreindis began to grab his things. Sword, knife, shield, armor, guildstone, and food.

After he had packed everything up, he took it and walked out of his quiet room to war, once again.
From the Journal of Cyaer Sunblaze:

She is gone...the light of my world...gone....left in an alley, to die alone and in a pool of her own blood...she didn't deserve that...light...she didn't deserve THAT!

Karamia...oh, my beloved, Karamia...what ever shall I do without you?

Kel'tira Sunblaze

No one deserves to have their lover taken from them that suddenly, not that soon.

They were so recently married... and Mia was just learning who she was again...

I should have been there! I should have been able to do something for them, I should have been able to save her. I should not have been stuck here in this Light-forsaken village, unable to walk.

I should have been able to be there to comfort Cyaer more than I was...

I should have been useful...

I should not have let him leave again...

I need to get out of here. Maybe Ash was right... maybe I am not cut out for this.
From the Journal of Cyaer Sunblaze:

I have shed so many tears at the loss of my beloved Karamia. My pillow was wet with them and sleep seems to elude me. I close my eyes, and I see her there in a darkened alley laying in a pool of her own blood. I need to remember another time, another place...I cannot have that image forever in my mind. While it may have been the last time I saw her, and we whispered our last "I love you" to each other...there was so much more to her than that moment.

I'll always remember that smile that lit up my heart for so long. The loving look she gave me when I did something right, the pride she felt for me. The way she would snuggle up close to me and breath a heavy sigh of contentment. Her warm embraces, her sweet gentle kisses, and her gentle fragrance...I will miss them all so much.

Already my arms ache to hold the one I will never be able to hold again. What I would not give to hear her laughter again. To hear her soft gentle voice whisper sweetly "I love you, Cyaer". To feel her gentle touch on my cheek. So much, oh so much more, but the tears fall from my face, and threaten to erase my love for my wife, Karamia.

Good-bye, my beloved. Good-bye, Karamia. Rest well, my darling. I love you.

If there is an afterlife, I pray the light finds me worthy of being with you when my time here is done. I look forward to that...someday.
From an old dusty book of tattered pages and loose binding:

I have been working out of the barracks of the Blood Knights, never alone, and yet in my heart the loneliness is devastating. I immerse myself in the advanced training my superiors have come up for me. They stretch my skills and talents, making me a better paladin, a better Blood Knight.

I spend the other half of the day working diligently at the forge, making armor and weapons for the cadets, and purifying the ores for special projects. When the day is done, I fall into my bunk exhausted, and fall asleep immediately.

And I see her eyes, Jahana's eyes seeking me, imploring me, pleading with me...and no matter who has her body, they have not her soul, her being. And I seek her, the real Jahana, the real woman I fell in love with...not the clothing, but the person beneath the clothes, the heart of Jahana. I sleep dreaming of that woman.

Before I know it, another day is before me. Light, protect her, and bring her back to me.
The Hall of Respite appeared empty. A lone woman lay on a table, unmoving, not breathing. Even in death she retained a certain elegant air, the woman with the brown hair thought wistfully. She crossed the room with sure strides and looked down upon the body. She reached out with one hand and placed it over Mia’s.

“Good bye, my friend,” she said softly. “Light grant you speed on your journey.”

Her poise failed her and the tears fell. After a long while, she turned and walked out of the Hall. Laughter could be heard coming from the inn and she thought about how the wheels of time churned on and how cruel that truth sounded.

(New entry in a light green leather journal etched with a tree)

Mia is gone. Like all the others before her, she takes away a little piece of the Fellowship. I think about how scattered we are and am left to wonder just how much is left of this dream? A dream that so many worked hard to forge into a reality and a dream that over these past few weeks I feel as though I am waking up from.

I am also left to wonder what happened in that alley. Footpads or marked target? Was Viragonia behind this or was it some random act of violence? I am not certain which option is better—both leave such a bitter taste on my tongue.

I am now sitting under a tree in Silvermoon. This is a beautiful place, austere… cold. I am reminded of how much I don’t care for it.

I have felt so useless over these past few weeks that I had taken to walking the roads in the Vale of Eternal Blossoms in an effort to quell the feeling. Now a letter from an old friend is calling me out of retirement. I need to answer her plea. It is the least that I can do for everything that she has given me. I would like to say that my husband would come with me, but he has his own duties to attend to.

Duty is something I understand well.

Kel’Tira is off onto something. She contacted me not long ago to tell me that she was safe. She is still bitter. I see in her a shade of the person that I once knew. I do not know if it is the perils of leadership that is changing her or, if at long last, the emotional trauma of all that has happened to her is finally setting in. Either way, unless she is willing to dig herself out—with or without help—I do not see a good future for my friend. I told her to stay in touch, that if she needed me that I would be there. I doubt that she will take me up on my offer.

For now, I need to return to the Vale, pack my bags and leave word for my husband before I head out.
Kreindis rolled to the left as a fireball exploded to his right, leaving some plants around its radius burning. He raised his hand to fire a bolt of the Light at his opponent, but stopped as a Tauren druid leaped at the fire elemental in the form of a large cat. It raked its claws down its front before shifting back into a Tauren form and smashing his large mace into the elemental's side. All the time Kreindis was watching, and as the mace took the flame elemental down, he thought, "I'd like to be a druid if I cou-" He stopped his thoughts as he remembered, "Sin'dorei druids dont exist. I dont want to be a Tauren or Troll... I would lose Tislina in that... and I dont want to lose her, or have her lose me..."

Kreindis would have continued his thoughts, but he had to roll again to the right this time, to dodge another fireball. This time it scorched his side mid-roll. "Ack! I'm losing my swiftness..." This time he succeeded in launching a large bolt of Light at the next flame elemental and hit what looked to be its face, taking it down. He looked over at the Tauren druid after a while when no more elementals came and asked, "Is that it?" The druid replied, "No... look!" Kreindis looked in the direction the Tauren had pointed. A fresh new wave of atleast fifty new elementals was marching towards them.

The Tauren reached into a bag and pulled out a white horn, and blowed into it. After a while, reinforcements came. Mages, druids, hunters and their beasts, rogues, paladins, priests, and anything else.

After a while, Kreindis and the Tauren looked at eachother and nodded before looking at the elementals again and yelling in unison, "Charge!"
From an old dusty book of tattered pages and loose binding:

I have been a mess since my memories have been restored to me. My mind, and heart have been at odds against each other, causing conflict and chaos in my soul. I remember Raviella saying something about balance, and I don't just feel off kilter, but lost. So very lost, and it affects me in too many ways to say.

I went to Undercity, alone, against better judgement, and Sydric's warnings and advice. And found myself being spooked or followed within the city proper. A voice whispered warnings and gentle advice to me, and I felt as though I was being watched the whole time. I rushed back to Silvermoon City.

And I met with Kel'tira and Auxilia when I returned. I told them of my feelings and experiences only moments ago, and I'm not sure if it was a benevolent sprit, or a dangerous rogue assassin playing with me. Raviella stopped by, and said that Sydric should be notified. I was embarassed by failure in following his warning and advice, but recounted my experiences to him.

And leaving the inn, I searched for a bench to try to calm myself, and relax, and instead found Raviella reading in the park. I don't think she knew what a can of worms she would open when she asked how I was. I broke down and told her of Undercity, of all my inner turmoils, of being off balanced in my life. And she offered to aid me!

We went to a nice quiet place to meditate and show me how to properly relax to find balance. I not only found a method to find inner peace, but I made a connection with the light within me and around me. I touched the light and it strengthened me and opened my senses around me. I experienced an awakening within me.

And in doing so, opened my heart and mind to the light. And I sensed Raviella's distress over being with me and I gently questioned her. And I was left to question where my heart was, and to make a decision. When it came to that moment, I found my heart and mind in agreement, and the light, oh, the light. I am at peace with knowing my life and love are in one person, and she is Raviella. There was no doubt, there was no chaos, only that golden peace and calm within me.

I still love Jahana, but it cannot be the love I have for Raviella. It is a love for well-being, that she be safe, and return to the Fellowship. It is as though she is a very dear friend, I have not seen or heard from for quite some time. She was the muse that opened my eyes and talents in being an artist, and for that I am so grateful.

But she is the past, and as I look into my future, I see those beautiful teal colored eyes of Raviella, looking into mine, and I know with certainty that I have made the best decision of my life in loving her with my whole heart. The light has blessed that moment, and I am happy once more, in control of my destiny, and carrying an inner peace and calm I have never had before.

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