The Non-Elitist Guide to RP! (silly thread)

World’s End Tavern: Role-play and Fan Fiction
A silly thread inspired by the Overused Characters thread and many of the other threads in this forum.


Don't you hate it when those elitist RPers whisper you telling you that 'ur doing it wrong"? Don't they know that they are supposed to find your brooding half-dragon, half-Belf character to be so cool? Want to show them how to REALLY RP, while helping out your fellow RPers? Well, this thread is for you!

I'll go first.

Want a neat way to make your character stand out? Give them eyes that change color to match their mood! You see, most RPers are stupid, and cannot tell that your character is angry unless the eyes or red, or blue when sad. It also makes it easier for other RPers to see that your character is unique and awesome, and that they should want to RP with you!
And make sure your character has at least three different races in his or her ancestry and have an uncontrollable stutter. And when they're not stuttering, they damn well better be giggling.

Also, a Sandstone Drake allows you to roleplay as a Dragon, it only makes sense! Make sure it's a Black Dragon too!
Nice one, being half of three different races. Screw fractions! They confuse me!

When your character falls in love, it's instant. Sure, you've only known the other character for two minutes, but, hey! It works for Disney! Get married and pop out babies for the next month of RP!
Every woman is pregnant.

All of them.

Even the ones that aren't.

Make sure that your female character is preggers but can still fight and toss around fel-wizardry.
It's also good to remember that Death Knights can still get drunk, high and perform in the bedroom, because being an Undead doesn't affect your ability to party hard!
Remember to appoint yourself powerful titles, like the Baron of Duskwood or even better, Duke of Redridge! Wait! NO! There's an even better title than that! It's REGENT OF STORMWIND!

Now you can lord over all those peasants with your beautiful title, and they can't do anything about it! Watch as you condemn people to death for simply being there, watch as you can dictate the laws of a Kingdom by saying "BECAUSE I SAID SO." and throw the cathedral on fire.

Don't forget, anyone who doesn't acknowledge your POWAH simply is wrong.
01/01/2013 10:55 PMPosted by Mangrove
Make sure that your female character is preggers but can still fight and toss around fel-wizardry.

For an added bonus make sure the fetus can influence the world outside of the womb to a certain degree...

I'm sorry, my unborn child made me write that. Little Kael can be such a handfull at times...
Losing the spotlight in RP? Have something BAD happen to your character, such as them falling over from disease, or tripping and getting a scraped knee, or being possessed by an evil spirit every week. That will make all other RPers stop whatever they are doing to pay attention to you!

Or, if you want your character to be flawless, have your character be the kind of person who can solve ANY problem! Is another character in need of serious medical attention? Suddenly, your character is a doctor! Is another character feeling down in the dumps? Spout a bunch of fortune cookie bull!@#$ at them! Did your character's friend suddenly lose a loved one? Well, lucky for them you just happen to discover that you have a connection to the spirits and elements, and you can tell that person where the loved one is or how they're doing! People will love you for your helpfulness!
Don't hesitate to borrow themes, skills, or even outright be a completely different class than the one you're actually playing! Who is anyone else to say that your draenei priest can't summon doomguards (plural)?
Stormwind loves and accepts:


Scourge aligned Undead

Blood Elves

Nudity, especially in front of children.

Plate/Mail/whatever bikinis.

Obvious warlocks (I was one before it was cool)

Large animals (Cats, Core Hounds, Bears) especially if they act like dogs.

Wearing full armor at all times.

Constant, petty, world-rending barfights.

People making snarky comments at said fights.

Make sure you have a house in Ironforge if you aren't a Dwarf!

If half your characters aren't elves or goats, then you're doing it wrong.

Arthas and Sylvannas have many children! Don't be afraid to make your Death Knight one.

Lovedeathxx is something that you'd name your child. Nevermind the fact the parents wouldn't know you'd become a DK.

Sarcasm is the highest form of comedy. Right above puns.

You're a powerful hero, so emotes like "Buttlord Fancyrear the Conquerer of Fine Rumps chops off your head in one blow and drains your blood and soul" is acceptable.

Remember, the Cathedral isn't just a church! It's a place for your sassy emo deathknight pigtailed elf friends to hang out and murmer about how the light is a poop.

Remember. No one can resist your Death Knights silicon hills. So make sure to tell us how attracted we are to them, regardless of previous sexuality.

omg randdum is funy lol xd penguins lmaorofl

People LOVE sassiness. It's totally not a reason to avoid you!
01/03/2013 03:03 AMPosted by Mangrove
Make sure you have a house in Ironforge if you aren't a Dwarf!

((Never saw the big outrage about that but okay. My turn.))

Wanna be a dragon? Go ahead! Dragons reveal themselves ALL THE TIME to mortals! It's totally acceptable to just turn into a Sandstone Drake and emote setting Goldshire on fire. Who's to stop you?

Better yet, be a Titan! We all know those guys are just hanging around. There's no reason to be the race you like like! Why NOT be an almost-lord of the friggin' universe, who definitely hangs around thousands of years after Azeroth's creation? Perfectly acceptable.

Also, make sure at least one of your characters is a super-hot, stuttering, giggling, pregnant night elf who can still sprint at 70 mph and take on 50 bad guys, and still doesn't have a pregnancy belly, even though she's 7 months in. That's a surefire way to attract attention!

Finally, if you're a female Death Knight, disregard all the rot, possible maggots, probable lack of flesh in some places, and more things that come with death. You're still perfectly beautiful and flawlessly preserved! Of COURSE you are.
If every other sentence doesn't contain your character sighing, your doing it wrong.
In your MRP, make sure you tell people how their characters are supposed to react to you. For example,

"Shade DeathyDarkness of the Shadow's glowing red eyes gaze at you from the darkest room of the tavern. You feel a shudder go down your spine, and yet, despite the discomfort, you are also overwhelmed by curiosity. Who is this man of the darkness? You long to know his story. Shade's eyes flash once, and suddenly you witness a flashback of a vital point in Shade's life..."


"You halt as your eyes spot the beautiful, angelic night elf sitting before a campfire. Your eyes run down her curvy body, hands longing to touch that soft, pink skin. The night elf smirks, as if reading your thoughts, and gestures for you to come sit by her. As you sit next to the gorgeous elf, she takes out a teapot and pours you a drink."

No, it's not godmodding! Your character is so awesome that it is a given that other RPers will have their characters react to you in such a way! You also just spared them some time typing what they will obviously do when they see your character!
01/01/2013 11:26 PMPosted by Hadrexion
It's also good to remember that Death Knights can still get drunk, high and perform in the bedroom, because being an Undead doesn't affect your ability to party hard!

*Cough cough* *Kicks old Cat's Claw Tavern thread under table*
Blood elves are stupid. Just put sunglasses on your high elf and you are free to wander around Silvermoon as you please!
Why be a death knight when you can be a San'layn? Vampires are totally cool and everyone knows how completely preserved and not disfigured they all were, especially Keleseth.

Or, if you're going to be a death knight, make sure you're one of the few LIVING death knights!

I mean, sure, being undead is the primary reason for one-third of your move-set and wearing/being around people wearing Saronite would send a living person insane but it's so cool to be a death knight who isn't all rotten and can have all that sex!

And Saronite is overrated! Sure, it's really hard, really light, reflects Light, and absorbs Nature but it's so damn common to death knights. Who wants to be common? That's right. Nobody.

Also, keep in mind that your eyes are only blue if you're calm. If you get angry, they should totally turn red to SHOW everyone how angry you are! Sylvanas does it once when talking to Lor'themar, that means any undead can do it!

Oh, and make sure you have absolutely no scars. What kind of loser gets permanent scars from a little thing like dying? Unless you followed my advice and didn't die, which is always a plus.

Oh, and you need a home, right? I mean, even though you never tire or need to eat, you still need a place to eat and sleep! If you're Horde, especially a blood elf, why not choose Gilneas? It looks cool and you'll be cool for living there.

Some naysayers will poo-poo it because of stupid things like the Gilneas Liberation Front and SI:7 having almost total control over the area and that only "contested" area being a coastal warzone but why should that spoil your fun?
Want to RP a tauren? Be a Grimtotem! But your Grimtotem is a NICE Grimtotem, who loves kittens and butterflies, and giving people flowers! As an added bonus, it gives you the opportunity to give your character a tragic backstory.
Also, don't forget to give your character a special class, because In-Game classes are boring. Make them a Dragon Lord Super Voodoo Witch Titan Knight! That'll make them really unique!
01/05/2013 12:01 PMPosted by Kailiang
Want to RP a tauren? Be a Grimtotem! But your Grimtotem is a NICE Grimtotem, who loves kittens and butterflies, and giving people flowers!


/whistles innocently
Don't like being a Troll but want to RP one? BLOOD ELF-TROLL HALFBREED! (Obviously use the Blood Elf model!) Make sure to end EVERY sentence with "Mon", mon.

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