Submit your 5.4 evil patch notes

Frostmourne
I thought it would be nice for us Frostmournians to come together and do a combination of flexing our comedic muscles, venting out stresses with the game, and strengthen our e-social ties.

What I plan to do is make an evil patch for 5.4, the Siege of Orgrimmar, based on what you all can submit here.
Of course we're gonna get some overlap, so here are some rules about the formation of the final notes:

- Sunday 3pm Server Time is the cutoff for entries. However, anything good after that may make it into the bonus round, Evil Hotfixes.
- Please try to label categories of your patch changes. For example, a change to Pick Pocket would come under Rogue.
- People are due to post differing notes on the same thing. If possible, ideas will be merged. If not, then what I consider the most evil will win and anything else may make the Evil Hotfixes.
- Feel free to buff or nerf anything you want, or introduce whatever ridiculous element to the game.
- What is deemed as the logic of certain developers is allowed.
- Turn your QQ into clever pew pew.

Alright monkeys, get those typewriters tapping!
Hunters have been removed from the game and replaced with mailboxes.
Hunters have been removed from the game and replaced with mailboxes.

Compensate me with a warlock that has all the same stuff and im cool with that. Although being a mailbox has its perks...
Male Draenei have been deemed to be worthless. To better reflect this worthlessness in-game, we have decided to reduce their Str, Int, Agi, and Stam by 99%.

In addition, all friendly players within 50 000 yards of a Male Draenei are so overwhelmed by the fact that one can be so utterly worthless that they have a debuff applied on them called 'Lost will to Live'. This causes them to take 10% of their health in damage every second, and this debuff is only cleared once a 50 000 yard male draenei free radius is established.

All enemy targets within 50 000 yards of a Male Draenei, both player and npcs, have a debuff on them called 'ROFLMAO'. This literally causes them to roll wherever they go, and they cannot stop moving. In addition, their hit chance is drastically reduced, although all their hits are guaranteed to be criticals, because of the hysterics they are in. 'ROFLMAO' gains a stack every second, and at 100 stacks, the target dies of laughter.
- The rogue only trinket [Time of the Hammer] has been introduced via pickpocketing orc players while they dance. The buff [Can't Touch This] persists through death.
In lfr's there will be both horde and alliance players in it since it is supposed to be co-op
I'd like to be able to grow a gold tree. Especially when levelling crafting on alts.

Surely that's worth of a mini patch?
Shadow Priests have had their 87 talent removed completely and get nothing in return.

Oh, that actually happened. Cool game.
Shadow Priests have had their 87 talent removed completely and get nothing in return.

Oh, that actually happened. Cool game.


Alter Time still works fine if that's any consolidation.
Any warlocks that were created after Mists of Pandaria release have been deleted. Victims of this deletion will now have the title 'Bandwagoneer <name>' permanently across every character.

Creation of any new warlocks has also been disabled.

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